The Man From The Video Shop V – The Roman Numerification

This week has actually been rather pleasant in the video shop, takings have been up and we’ve seen a glut of new members coming in to the store following a promotional customer drive.

Of course all of these new customers bring with them questions.

One question in particular stood out though…

“If I rent this movie, and it frightens me, can I call you guys for comfort?”


What a question eh?

Now, I want you to have a think about what kind of customer this question may have come from:

a) Eighteen year old nubile young lady, touching her hair while she talks

b) Forty year old blokey bloke with a tattoo on his face


c) The old lady who looks like she puts cats into litter bins on a Tuesday afternoon

Now as much as I would have loved it to be the scary cat bothering old lady it was obviously the forty year old blokey bloke – the kind who opens beer bottles with his own mouth while slapping his three children, all named after iconic footballers from Northern clubs, with the back of his hand, all the time glaring at his wife who ‘dared’ to step out of the kitchen – who looked genuine. He stood there, with a copy of Hatchet 2 in his hand and genuinely asked us if he could call the shop for comfort.

Now the mean guy in me wanted to laugh in his face, but instead I offered – knowing that I would be long gone from the shop before he watched the film – the service on behalf of the store. I took payment and sent him on his way, smiling at the thought of ‘that’ phone call coming in later on.

It didn’t sadly, but it doesn’t take away from the look on his face, his TATTOOED FACE! I can best compare it to that bit in Lethal Weapon after Riggs bottles his suicide attempt and just breaks down. Well the guy had the look on his face RIGHT BEFORE the tears flowed fully. I was filled with pity and amusement, a new emotion I’m choosing to call pimusement. It’s great, if conflicting.

I’m hoping that the guy doesn’t make of habit of making oddly emotional requests along with rentals, for fear of him renting Big Mommas: Like Father, Like Son and calling up to get the number of a good hitman.

It’s often the blokey blokes who seem to show their emotional sides more in the shop. Perhaps we can learn something from that?


Sorry it’s a short one this week, I will be back next week with a bumper edition.


About Bouncybhall

Writer, Podcaster, Shenangian Locator.

Posted on February 19, 2012, in Features. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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