Review: Piranha 3DD

Directed By: John Gulager

Starring: Danielle Panabaker, Chris Zylka, David Koechner, Ving Rhames, David Hasselhoff

Rating: Running Time: 82 mins

3D films have never impressed me, you see when you go to see a film you want to be able to sit back and enjoy the experience not have to put a pair of glasses on that turns the picture on the screen into a dull mess, however there have been a few films that i have seen that didn’t make me hate the 3D and one of them being the original Piranha film, yes nothing was added to the film to make it special however very little was taken away, so with fingers crossed i was hoping that the sequel would stick with how the original was and hopefully i would leave with that big grin on my face after coming out of the first 3D Piranha film.

 The film begins by telling us what happened in the first movie in that the prehistoric piranha’s caused a lot of mayhem and deaths at lake Victoria which in turn killed the thriving party town, fast forward a year after the incident and we see two farmers heading into a lake to fish out one of their cow’s which has been found dead, this is our introduction to the piranha’s again as the cow holds hundreds of egg’s and when they hatch they kill both farmers.

The film then fast forwards to a water park called the big wet ran by Chet (David Koechner) and his step daughter Maddy (Danielle Panabaker), they are preparing the water park for a big grand opening however Chet has decided to change the water park into the ultimate adult get together with strippers instead of life guards which makes Maddy very unhappy, during this time two of Maddy’s friends are having a swim down at the lake when one of them is attacked in a weird fashion that shows up a little later in the film in one of the goriest scenes, on top of this more attacks are happening including a couple who get stranded in a van and get killed by the piranha’s and Maddy and one of her friends just manage to escape an attack at the lake.

Maddy along with her friend Josh (Jean-Luc Bilodeau) and ex boyfriend turned bent cop Kyle (Chris Zylka) discover a video on the internet about the incident that happened at lake Victoria so they decide to hunt down the scientist involved played by Christopher Lloyd who tells them that not only have the piranha’s become more aggressive but that they have to be stopped if not then it could mean the deaths of thousand, Maddy then decides to confront her step-father who takes no notice of her as he has invested a lot of money in the water park and doesn’t want to lose it.

We are then introduced to David Hasselhoff in a motel who is getting ready for the grand opening at the water park as a life guard in a spoof on Baywatch, when he get’s to the water park on the grand opening day that’s when all hell breaks loose as the piranha’s have found a way through the water pipes into the park and go on their extreme rampage.

The thing you need to know about Piranha 3DD is that at first it starts out as a horror with hint’s of humour here and there a bit like the first one however over time it completely loose’s the plot and goes extremely insane with gag’s that it didn’t need and some of the worst acting you have ever seen.  You see at the start of the film with the exploding cow gag i laughed a little because it’s a very simple one but when you have stupid gag’s like somebody having sex with the water pipe because it feels so good or one ripped straight from Baywatch that is used 4 times in a row and it isn’t funny the first time then you know you have something wrong with the film.

During the movie there are hints of goodness, take one scene for instance which will make any man wince that involves to people having sex and the female having one of the baby piranha’s inside her which then leads to the man having to go to extreme length’s to get the piranha off his manhood are really good as it has gone to the extreme and that’s what your hoping.  Another scene that worked really well for me is the one involving Christopher Lloyd as i think he is a genius not matter what he does but unfortunately it only lasts a few minutes and then we have to go back to the crass child like film.

Now on to something that i thought i would hate and that’s the 3D as i’m not a big fan of it however it’s handled OK in this, yes there are times when vehicles will seem a bit jerky but for the most part it’s handled quite well and it doesn’t take anything away from the film however it doesn’t add anything.

Overall though Piranha 3DD is a mess of a film there are hint’s here and there that shows you that the film could of been a lot of fun but for the most part it’s thrown out of the window as the director just loose the plot, if you have seen any of John Gulager’s work (Feast) they you will probably know what to expect however if you go into the film expecting something like Piranha 3D then you are just going to walk out and want your money back.  Oh and stay until the end credits as not only are you treated to the usual out-takes but you also have another Baywatch parody that features the hoff in probably the funniest gag of the whole movie.


Posted on May 12, 2012, in Reviews and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.

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