Stuart’s Worst 10 films of 2012

Your always told that you have to take the rough with the smooth or the bad with the good, so it will come as no surprise to read that this list will concentrate on the worst films of the year.  2012 has been a bit of a stinker when it comes to films producing one of the worst movies i have seen in the last 20 years and finally showing everybody that Adam Sandler is one of the worst actors in the world starring in 2 horrible films.

So below are the bottom 10 films of the year and 5 other films that you should avoid like the plague

10. Battleship 

Now a lot of people gave this film a bit of a pass saying that “yes it’s dumb but it’s meant to be”, well i say “NO” it’s a really dumb film and it’s not very good at all.  The problem with the film is that it doesn’t think that it has no brain cells, in fact it thinks that it’s a smart film but honestly i have heard a lot of stiff dialogue in my life but this film just takes the biscuit, i can take a movie that is dumb with some explosions but i just could sit through this movie without enjoying myself, please avoid it.

9. Act of Valor 

I can’t stand films that try and force feed you something that will make you sick and Act of Valor has done this because in my eyes it’s the biggest piece of propaganda i have ever seen in a film.  What the director thought he would do is get a group of real navy seals and think that they can act because educational films in America have gone down hill over the years, so they though that having real seals in a movie it would make people think that “yes i really need to join up with them”.  The movie should be avoided at all costs as i just hated the way it was made, acted, shot and practically everything.

8. This Means War

Now first off i’m not a fan of how McG directs his films i think he is one cocky director but know i hate him even more by putting a good actor in the form of Tom Hardy through hell by making him dance like a monkey in this horrible film.  The way the movie plays out you might think that it should be OK, so why the hell did it not only miss it’s mark but it ended off on a different planet.  It makes me really angry that one puny director can put a horrible mark on 2 actors that i think are really good, please don’t watch this film at all or you will not look at Tom Hardy in a good light ever again.

7. Gone

I’m not much of a fan of Amanda Seyfried so i don’t think any of her movies need any kind of attention but this one has to be the big nail in her acting coffin as Gone is not only a bad movie but it perfectly lives up to the name it should be Gone.  When a film uses the same set piece 3 times in one film and each time it doesn’t work then you should realize that you have a nightmare of a move on your hand and i don’t think the director twigged on during making this film that he would have a car crash of a film.

6. The Watch 

I tried my best to avoid this film as much as i could as when i watched the first trailer for it i just thought to myself this is going to be a bit of a slog too watch, so when i finally got round to watching it i couldn’t of been anymore correct, this is a car crash of a film not one single joke is funny, the acting is awful and to top things off the alien in the movie has got to be one of the worst designed monsters i have ever seen.  Ben Stiller and Vince Vaughn have now just gone and shot there careers to death if they haven’t done so already and shame on them for dragging Richard Ayoade down to there level.

5. The Dictator 

I hate Sacha Baron Cohen with a passion, everything that he does is not funny in the slightest so it will come as no surprise that his latest creation fails to hit the mark and becomes another string in his unfunny bow.  Nothing in this film is funny and it has no redeeming features to it at all.  So please stop giving Baron Cohen any acting jobs and stop giving him a chance to make anymore movies as his acting career should come to a end NOW.

4. Project X

I hate anything to do with the Hangover series, those films are a nightmare to watch so when somebody who is involved in that series thinks that it’s a good idea to do a found footage style film about 3 kids hosting the biggest party in the world you should instantly avoid it and this film should be shot into the sun never to be watched again.  Too say i hated this film is a bit of a understatement, nothing and i mean nothing is good about this mess of a film and calling it a film is giving it a small amount of justice.

3. The Devil Inside

I’m going to keep this short and sweet, this is the worst horror film i have seen this year and watching this should prove too you that the possession found footage film should come to a end NOW, please don’t watch it.

2. Jack and Jill

Giving Adam Sandler any opportunity too make any kind of film is saying that he is a good actor, but giving him the chance to play both male and female characters in the film then the director should be shot, by watching the trailer alone you know you are in for a nightmare ride and that is 100% true when it comes to Jack and Jill.  Please avoid this one.

1. Keith Lemon: The film 

By giving this any kind of space or time is acknowledging that it exist, so all i will say is watch the above trailer and tell me if it looks fun, if it does then please never visit this site again as this has to be the least un funniest film i have ever seen in my life, it’s horrible.

Dishonorable Mentions

Extremely Loud and Incredible Close – Not only is this film not very good but it does two things which really grated on me, the first thing is having the actor to play the 12 year old boy so annoying you just wanted too punch him and secondly, they centered the film around a horrible tragedy and try to pull on your heart strings about it and it just made the film even worse.

The Sitter – Jonah Hill proved that he can be funny when he starred alongside Channing Tatum in 21 jump street, so why the hell did he think that the Sitter would be a good idea as it’s just him being the annoying person that he is or was.

Amityville Haunting – Why do special effects artist’s think that they can director a film, if any of them are reading this now please take note of how not to do it by watching this horrible, horrible, horrible film, it nearly made my bottom 10 films of the year, the only reason it didn’t was down to the fact that very few people know about it and this is a good thing.

666: The Prophecy – when a film is called 11-11-11 originally and was supposed to come out then, changes it’s name you know that something must be a bit wrong with it and YES this film is god awful (no pun there).

The Wicker Tree – I thought the original Wicker Man film was a really good film so why did the original director think it was a good idea to make a sequel to that film more than 20 years down the line.  The film misses every single mark that the original managed to hit, it has given the Wicker Man a really bad name now.

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Posted on December 21, 2012, in Features and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. nope, as it’s not out in the UK until March 2013 so it’s not allowed on the list

  2. I’m glad someone else hates “The Hangover” as well (even though it’s in reference the the abysmal “Project X”).

  3. i’ve always hated the hangover film ,don’t know why people think they are funny

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